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I WILL CHANGE THE WORLD . . . ONE INTESTINE AT A TIME
A collection of unsplatterpunk horror shorts
by Douglas J. Ogurek
12 UNSPLATTERPUNK STORIES THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR LUNCH
Children inflict excruciating injuries on their eager parents. The two most revered distracters face off in a bowling match. The Ultraviolent Steroids League’s only female player pitches against the misogynistic brute responsible for her missing eye. Young men race to ejaculate while watching fictitious torture and murder scenes. A narcissistic businessman gets initiated into a secret society with a gruesome hobby. The Loch Ness Monster comes out of hiding in a ferocious display while a seductive woman convinces a corporate executive to desecrate his own body. A dolt gains intelligence and self-confidence when he discovers secrete messages in his feces. Two Cliché Assassins, Inc. employees go on a dangerous cliché-ridden mission.
As you peel and squelch your way through these vile contents, be prepared to lose your lunch and learn a lesson . . . one intestine at a time.
BITS ‘N’ PIECES
A collection of horror shorts, drabbles, and dark poetry
by Jonathan Edward Ondrashek
24 TALES OF HORROR AND DARKNESS
A horny serial killer realizes his own shallowness when he crosses the wrong stripper. When a souped-up unique Chevy Cavalier’s owner is threatened, the car develops plans of its own. A pizza delivery driver enacts immediate payback against a cheapskate who never tips. Two young siblings learn the difference between imagined horrors and real-world terror. An author’s mind cracks and he takes his rage out on those around him.
The impact of climate change. The ramifications of a second American civil war. Greed. Depression. Racism. Revenge.
These are only a few of the tales and topics covered in Bits ’n’ Pieces, Jonathan Edward Ondrashek’s first collection of horror shorts, drabbles, and dark poetry.
Heed the obligatory warning inside. Bits ’n’ Pieces may push boundaries and is not intended for the weak.
THE HUMAN-UNDEAD WAR TRILOGY
by Jonathan Edward Ondrashek
Books I and II now available as audiobooks!
Tired of the same old vampire story?
Well, these ain’t your daddy’s vampires . . .
In the Human-Undead War world, toss out your crosses, holy water, and fire. Don’t bother bolting your door, or lining entrances to your home with garlic or salt—vampires don’t need an invitation, and none of that will deter them. They don’t sparkle. They don’t sleep in coffins. And they are no longer in hiding.
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In 2041, vampires are discovered and humanity is thrust into a blood-soaked battle for supremacy.
Seven years pass and the Human-Undead War rages on. Brian Koltz, the lead scientist and negotiator for the Undead Relations Committee, believes he holds the solution to peaceful coexistence: the platelet mushroom, an accidental creation that produces human blood.
But after Brian befriends the Undead patriarch, Barnaby, the war intensifies and dark intentions are exposed. Can Brian forsake peace and undo a sinister plot before the world is plunged into darkness forever?
Seven months have passed since Barnaby, the Undead patriarch, fell to his death. The war appears to be over.
Brian Koltz has assumed rule in Haven and sets about dismantling all of Barnaby’s dark work in order to prevent future tyrants.
However, Barnaby is alive and well. With help from newfound allies, he plans to reignite the war and reclaim his throne.
And as their paths intertwine anew, the true Undead patriarch is forced to reveal his identity . . . and the secrets he’s harbored since the dawn of time.
To ensure the Undead’s rise to godhood, Barnaby has sent his followers on missions to eradicate humankind once and for all. However, before he can cast the world into darkness, he must defeat the Human Army and confront his nemesis, Brian Koltz.
Meanwhile, as an insurgent army approaches Haven, Brian discovers a traitor in their midst and dark deeds being done against his knowledge. Can he and Haven survive the ensuing battle before being torn apart from within?
As all sides vie for victory, inevitable clashes will bring about a kingdom’s fall. Who will survive the Human-Undead War?