I’ve seen many published stories and novels in need of a solid edit (including my first novel—yikes!). Most of these have gone through at least one editing round from a publisher or self-proclaimed editor and yet they look and read like first drafts. Rushing such a process pumps more poor quality work into the writingsphere and harms the writer most in the end. Many professionals are also too nice. This is business, nothing personal. You’re going to have to take some cuts and lick your wounds if you wish to be taken seriously as a writer. That means heeding the advice of a trained wordsmith whether you like it or not.
I also see loads of social media posts from professionals of all kinds where there are far too many exclamation marks (you only need one, for fuck’s sake!) and missed capitalization or punctuation the result is a sloppy, unprofessional run-on that can turn potential customers away!!!! (See what I did there, Karen?)
If you’ve been on the receiving end of the Go-Go-Go methodology of modern publishing, or if that last paragraph made you cringe, you’ve come to the right place.
why should you choose plumpolished?
And who the fuck am I to make such wild proclamations?
I consider myself a good editor. Not great, but better than the average red-marker. I don’t pull any punches either. If something isn’t working, I speak up. I offer plot suggestions, point out characterization flaws, and many manuscripts I’ve touched end up redder than a cheap Santa suit.
Why would I be so . . . harsh? Because I give a shit about quality. I want to make your work shine so brightly that Donald J. Trump would risk his eyesight to peep your prose like he did with that solar eclipse a few years ago. Good, reliable editors are the secret recipe to publication success. Don’t let the amateurs fool you: readers still care, too. Many will shun a book if it has more than a few errors in the first chapter alone, and their low-star reviews can turn others away just as quickly.
To have the best opportunity to keep readers engaged—and coming back for more of your work—you need a solid editor who’ll make sure they notice the story and not the typos. One who will be blunt and honest, who’ll guide you, who’ll offer suggestions, and who will be a downright grumpy asshole when necessary. Thick skin doesn’t come from pats on the back, after all.
So, why choose me? You won’t find a wall of testimonials here. Most of them are aggrandizing drivel from fellow, closely connected writer friends, and we’re not fond of circle jerks at Plumfukt Press. Instead, I’ll list some credentials with links where appropriate.
- Over 150 short stories edited in the past decade, at least 75% of which went on to be published
- Over a dozen novellas, novels, and collections edited since 2016, all of which went on to be published (without official credit—publisher did not list an editor)
- 4 coedited anthologies currently on the market (Deranged, F*ck the Rules (censored at request of publisher), Man Behind the Mask, What Goes Around)
- Editor credits for 3 novels/novellas currently on the market (Escapees and Fevered Minds, Puckered, Cold Cocked)
- A dozen short stories and a trilogy published since 2015, most of which required minimal editing (find them on Amazon; 100% 4 or 5-star reviews for the first edition of the trilogy on Amazon)
- Handful of non-fiction articles and music reviews published since 2008
- Edited a dissertation for someone who went on to receive their doctorate
- Freelance contributor to local newspaper as of February 2020 (sample article)
I’ve edited for some heavy hitters in the industry too, and I rammed into their stories just as balls-deep as I would anyone else’s. No hesitation, no regrets. They’ve always approved my suggestions with nary a pause and often thank me for my diligence.
Last but not least, I’m a rule-bender. I use informal words like ain’t in many works, start sentences with conjunctions, and slip terms like ballsack and writingsphere in from time to time. I disagree with many archaic writing rules while still adhering to 90% of the Chicago Manual of Style. I’ll be able to tell if you prefer the Oxford comma or not, and will stick with it—consistency is important. I can glean style from a perusal to determine your voice, and I can edit to that voice; I can be invisible to the reader so that your work and your name remain at the forefront of their gray matter.
If you can take some punches and want to learn more about the craft of writing/editing while pushing out polished work, I can help. But if you’re overly sensitive or stuck in your ways, PlumPolished is not for you.
What I won’t do
I am not a PR/marketing specialist. I am not a ghost writer. If you’re wanting my services, I will edit your content—I will not write anything you provide from scratch. (I may rewrite bits and pieces or entire chapters if necessary, or provide suggestions for rewrites, but the content is ultimately up to you.)
HOW THIS WORKS
Below, you’ll find specialized packages with pricing and overall editing procedures for each.
First, choose the package that best suits your needs.
Next, fill in the simple form at the bottom of the page and click Submit.
Once I receive your message, I’ll check out your work to see if I can help (i.e., if it’s first draft quality, I may ask that you clean it up and resubmit). If all is well, I’ll contact you to let you know if everything will work out according to schedule. If so, you will receive further instructions, including where to send payment, etc.
- Payment accepted via PayPal only.
- Edits will begin immediately or as communicated, but payment in full is required before I will release the edited work back to you.
- All edits will be performed using Track Changes in Word.
- If you request the SMP more than once, we will open up quicker modes of communication, such as Facebook Messenger, to ensure fast turnaround.
* NOTE: All work submitted below is secure, and you retain all rights. You’ll never find me hawking your work as my own, ever. That’s a Plumfukt guarantee! *
Plumpolished service packages
Proofreading = finding and correcting missing words or punctuation, typos, misspelled words, and manuscript consistency for all aforementioned elements. This is generally the last step before publication/submitting for publication and is really about catching minor errors and tidying up the manuscript visually.
Line/copy editing = plot, pace, characterization, and style suggestions or comments; finding and correcting missing words or punctuation, typos, misspelled words, tense, word usage and repetition, and manuscript consistency for all aforementioned elements. This is more about the look, feel, and readability than the overall story, with minor advice on some of the structural elements (without directly tackling the latter).
Developmental editing = everything in line/copy editing as well as deeper elements, such as characterization inconsistencies, sentence/paragraph/chapter structure, flashback/timeline gaps or holes, theme, or logical plot/pacing/endings. This is about the big picture and may involve rearranging, moving, and rewriting.
FREE SMP (Social Media Polish)
Proofread. Give me a test run by providing a social media post of any length. Good for one time only. Great for business/author pages and Buy Sell Trade/Marketplace users who want to ensure grammar police don’t interfere!
PlumPolished style (see below). Give me a test run by providing up to 1,000 words of any short story, novella, or novel. Drabbles/micro fiction can be grouped up to that word limit. Good for one time only. Great for writers who want to see what I’ve got without committing!
The SMP (Social Media Polish)
$2 proofread for any social media post 280 words or less. Rates negotiable above 280 words. You can also secure The SMP on retainer for $100 a month (up to 45 posts, no word limits per post—within reason, of course). Great for business/author pages and Buy Sell Trade/Marketplace users who want to ensure grammar police don’t interfere!
$10 per 10,000 words. A simple reading with a follow-up critique that may point out errors and formatting issues, readability, likability, and opinion on marketability. Aside from possible examples, no actual corrections will be made to the manuscript. Great for those wanting reliable feedback for specific markets/open calls!
The Basic Bitch
1/2 cent per word. Proofreading or general line/copy editing. As basic as you can get. This is ideal if you’re a seasoned writer with a history of turning in highly polished prose, or if you need another set of eyes on your work after it’s been formatted and you’re gearing up for publication.
1 cent per word, capped at 40K. 40,001-80K = flat $450. 80,001-120K = flat $500. Includes line/copy editing and developmental editing. Each accepted submission will be read thoroughly and will undergo two full rounds of edits (a third possible if there are major plot/character/story issues). Ideal for those wanting to learn more about the craft while producing solid, quality work.
Got a website you want edited? A flyer? Not sure which category your work would fall into? Select this one to open up discussion on service level and rates. We’ll work something out, no worries.