Tag: vampires

INDEPENDENCE DAY SALE: 3 freebies, all other titles $0.99/£0.99!

Posted on by jondrashek in announcement, billiards, Billiards fiction, collection, dark, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, free, free ebooks, horror, Human-Undead War, Kindle Countdowns, meatpies, novel, Pints, Plumfukt, poetry, Pubs, short stories, splatterpunk, trilogy, unsplatterpunk, vampires, war

The 4th of July marks Independence Day in the United States, which we backstabbing Yanks tend to celebrate with barbecues, pool parties, yard games, alcohol, and fireworks. But it’s definitely about more than ogling skimpily clad women and sucking down wieners . . . 

Yay, the Fourth of July in the US is about bravery, facing adversity, ushering in change, and granting certain rights to citizens. It is about the birth of our nation.

And THE HUMAN-UNDEAD WAR is about its death.

In reverence of freedom, we are offering the entire HUMAN-UNDEAD WAR TRILOGY for FREE now through Thursday, July 4, 2024.* All other Plumfukt Press titles will be reduced to $0.99/£0.99 each through Sunday, July 7, 2024. 

Visit our Books page to find universal links. And, as always, all Plumfukt titles are available on Kindle Unlimited.

We appreciate the liberties afforded us by the brave individuals who have fought valiantly for them. Without freedom, we’d be fucked. Plumb fucked.

*THE HUMAN-UNDEAD WAR trilogy will then be marked down to $0.99/£0.99 each with the other Plumfukt titles from July 5, 2024 through July 7, 2024.

Print pricing increases, effective immediately

Posted on by jondrashek in announcement, billiards, Billiards fiction, collection, dark, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, horror, Human-Undead War, Kindle Countdowns, meatpies, novel, Pints, Plumfukt, poetry, Pubs, short stories, splatterpunk, trilogy, unsplatterpunk, vampires, war

In May, Amazon announced they would be increasing printing costs on June 20, 2023. Rather than make a rash preemptive decision, we waited to see how it would impact our Plumfukt authors. In some cases, there was no change. But in other instances, our disturbed wordsmiths would be receiving at least 25% less in royalty compensation for their hard work.

We don’t give two shits about how it impacts us as a publisher. We’re not in this biz to become rich. Our goal has always been to produce high quality, well polished dark fiction, and to treat our authors with more than a modicum of respect.

Thus, after some deliberation, we have decided to increase all print book prices by $1.00 (or rough equivalency in other currencies). 

Ebook and audiobook prices remain unscathed, and all titles are available with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.

Even with this slight printing increase, we are proud to offer stories at prices that match or fall below the industry average. We hope you continue grabbing our books. We like that shit . . . probably a little too much, if our rock-hard, protruding nips are any indication.

We may also be expanding our catalog soon, so stick around. Or get fucked.

Plumb fucked.


Memorial day flash sale: Freebies and $0.99/£0.99!

Posted on by jondrashek in announcement, billiards, Billiards fiction, collection, dark, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, free, free ebooks, horror, Human-Undead War, Kindle Countdowns, meatpies, novel, Pints, Plumfukt, poetry, Pubs, short stories, splatterpunk, trilogy, unsplatterpunk, vampires, war

Memorial Day often marks the true beginning of summertime in the USA. Though most red-blooded Americans believe this holiday is about backyard barbecues, three-day weekends, and family time, they’d be wrong.



To honor those who served their country and gave their lives to defend it, we’re offering three of our titles for FREE tomorrow, May 25, 2023 through Memorial Day on Monday, May 29. The others will be marked down to $0.99/£0.99* during this time. Visit our Books page to find universal links. And, as always, all Plumfukt titles are available on Kindle Unlimited.

We appreciate the liberties afforded us by the brave men and women who have died in the line of duty. Because of them, we can proudly say, every day: Get fucked. Plumb fucked.

** BONUS! **


*The fools at Amazon refuse to correct an automated update to THE RACK & CUE, and we can only offer it at $0.99 on the US marketplace. Due to this fuck-up, we will send ANYONE who reaches out via our Contact page a free Kindle-compatible (.mobi) copy of the brutal billiards tale by the Wild Welshman, David Owain Hughes!

Horror lovers sale – all plumfukt titles $0.99/£0.99 through valentine’s day!

Posted on by jondrashek in announcement, billiards, Billiards fiction, collection, dark, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, horror, Human-Undead War, Kindle Countdowns, meatpies, novel, Pints, Plumfukt, poetry, Pubs, short stories, splatterpunk, trilogy, unsplatterpunk, vampires, war

Do you smell that?

No, not the pleasant, irony scent of spilled blood, nor the pungent aroma of death loosening tight bowels.

Whatever it is, it reeks of adoration for quality dark fiction.



To celebrate love for unapologetic horror, we’re offering all of our titles for $0.99/£0.99 on your Kindle device today through Tuesday, February 14*. Visit our Books page to find both US and UK links.

And, as always, all Plumfukt titles are available on Kindle Unlimited.

This Valentine’s Day, get fucked. Plumb fucked.



*Let us extend your pleasure! Due to an oversight, I WILL CHANGE THE WORLD . . . ONE INTESTINE AT A TIME by Douglas J. Ogurek will be available at  $0.99/£0.99 from February 9 through February 15 instead.

$0.99/£0.99 Halloween sale Oct. 27 – Nov. 2 – all plumfukt titles

Posted on by jondrashek in announcement, collection, dark, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, Halloween, horror, Human-Undead War, Kindle Countdowns, Plumfukt, short stories, splatterpunk, trilogy, unsplatterpunk, vampires, war

Have you consumed everything Plumfukt has to offer?

Have you experienced the Human-Undead War, an epic dark fantasy trilogy which reviewers have lauded as a gory adventure that would make for an action-packed movie? It turns traditional vampire lore on its head. These ain’t your daddy’s pussy-ass, sparkly vamps . . .

Have you tasted the rancid meat of Bits ‘n’ Pieces, a collection of drabbles, shorts, and poetry that runs the gamut of horror from extreme to psychological? Modern issues are tackled without regard for your feelings in this one. Heed the warning. It’s not meant for the weak.

Have you cringed and flinched at the vivid, disgusting descriptions in Douglas J. Ogurek’s I Will Change the World . . . One Intestine at a Time, which likewise confronts realities and social issues without hesitation? One reviewer had great things to say about it, including an emphatic “blech!”

If you have yet to wander into the Plumfukt universe, your chance to grab our offerings at low, low prices is nigh. From Thursday, October 27 through Wednesday, November 2, all Plumfukt titles will be reduced to $0.99/£0.99 on your Kindle device.

Visit our Books page on our website to find both US and UK links.

This Halloween, treat yourself to some unapologetic horror!

JOIN THE WAR FOR FREE – SALE STARTS NOW!

Posted on by jondrashek in collection, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, free, free ebooks, Halloween, horror, Human-Undead War, Kindle Countdowns, Plumfukt, poetry, short stories, submissions, trilogy, vampires, war

PLUMFUKT PRESS KINDLE FREEBIE AND COUNTDOWN DEALS
(US & UK)

Thursday, October 28 through Monday, November 1, 2021

We need fresh meat for the front lines.

Join the War for free. If your first vicious, gruesome battle doesn’t make you go AWOL, nab the rest of the series for under two bucks/quid.

And if all-out war against non-sparkly, brutal vampires is too tame for you, your more extreme fetishes and taboos might be best explored in BITS ‘N’ PIECES, also under a buck/quid.

THE HUMAN-UNDEAD WAR I: DARK INTENTIONS
*FREE*

Thursday, October 28 – Monday, November 1
–Kindle US and UK–

ALL OTHER PLUMFUKT TITLES $0.99/£0.99

Thursday, October 28 – Monday, November 1
–Kindle US and UK–

SEVEN DAYS, A FREEBIE/KINDLE COUNTDOWNS, AND . . . A SEXY ALIEN?

Posted on by jondrashek in collection, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, free, free ebooks, Halloween, horror, Human-Undead War, Kindle Countdowns, Plumfukt, poetry, short stories, submissions, trilogy, vampires, war

As Halloween approaches, we’ve gotten lost in the season: the rattling leaves, deepening darkness, lengthening shadows, biting autumn winds. It’s the prime time for scary movies, hoodies, blood, guts, gore, and more.

It’s also the deadline for our novella and collection submission calls, ya fuckin’ slacker.

seven days

No, that’s not how many days you have left to live. You’ve got seven days including today to get your work polished and submitted before we close our doors and sift through the victims.

–SUBMISSION GUIDELINES–

JOIN THE WAR—FOR FREE

Thursday, October 28 – Monday, November 1
–Kindle US and UK–

The front lines are dwindling and we need fresh meat, so we’re offering DARK INTENTIONS, the first book in Jonathan Edward Ondrashek’s THE HUMAN-UNDEAD WAR dark fantasy vampire trilogy, for free on Kindle US and UK from Thursday, October 28 through Monday, November 1, 2021.

No fear, horror lovers. These ain’t your daddy’s pussy-ass vampires . . .

Click the corresponding image to join the War.

OTHER KINDLE COUNTDOWN DEALS

Thursday, October 28 – Monday, November 1
–Kindle US and UK–

You can finish what you start by also grabbing the second and third books, PATRIARCH and A KINGDOM’S FALL, on Kindle Countdown Deals for 99c/p apiece for the duration of that time. Find out which race survives the War, but make sure you’ve aligned with the right side first . . .

And if seedier, grosser, more extreme short pieces are what make your gumdrop nipples harden, you can nab BITS ‘N’ PIECES for 99c/p as well. Featuring a wide array of styles, topics, and horror subgenres, it’s a great collection to cuddle up to after you’ve disposed of those rotting corpses.

Didn’t WE mention a sexy alien?

Oh, yeah. We did!

We watched the latest season of American Horror Story and, while unimpressed on many fronts, we found ourselves salivating over Angelica Ross’s portrayal of a hybrid human-alien.

That big eye, though . . . Mmm.

Just us?

Oh.

Anyway . . . Have an unsafe and evil Halloween, psychos!



Midyear Madness: Audiobook, Kindle Countdowns, Spring Cleaning

Posted on by jondrashek in Audible, audiobook, dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, free promo code, horror, Human-Undead War, iTunes, Kindle Countdowns, Plumfukt, poetry, short stories, trilogy, vampires, war

Do you smell that in the air?

No, not that fresh, fetid pile of steaming dog shit which is now the centerpiece of your lawn. That other scent. The one that smells like . . . madness?

Maybe it’s because THE HUMAN-UNDEAD WAR I: DARK INTENTIONS is now available as an audiobook, or because the second in the trilogy, PATRIARCH, has entered production? Either way, you can join the War at your online Audible or iTunes recruiting stations today:

Audible: http://bit.ly/HUW1_DarkIntentions

iTunes: https://apple.co/3fRrZ1G

Nah, it’s more than that. The madness is tickling our olfactory receptors and making us giddy.

To celebrate these odd orgasmic feelings, we’ll be offering all Plumfukt titles for 99 cents each on Kindle now through 06/08/21. You can find them all on our Books page.

But that’s not all. During the entire month of June, you’ll have chances to win free promo codes for the first aforementioned Plumfukt audiobook. All you’ll have to do is comment on our Facebook page or tweets from @plumfuktpress when prompted and you’re entered to win. No right or wrong answers. Too fuckin’ easy.

Shit. One sec. I’m cleaning. Allergies. I have to—

Pardon me.

Ugh. I hate spring cleaning. How about you? Did you do any this year?

Did it include dusting off original, unpublished manuscripts that might titillate the Plumfukt crowd, by chance?

We only ask because rumor has it we’ll be opening up for novella and collection subs in the near future. (It’s us. We started the rumor.)

Yeah.

Madness.

We might all be plumb fucked, so let’s revel in it.





Plumfukt Horror Freebie and Kindle Countdown Deals, through November 1

Posted on by jondrashek in dark fantasy, drabbles, ebooks, free, free ebooks, horror, Human-Undead War, Plumfukt, poetry, short stories, trilogy, vampires, war

Because we like you, we’re offering our titles at steep discounts to celebrate the only fucking holiday that ever matters: Halloween!

Beginning now through 11:59 p.m. CST on Monday, November 1, you can get Jonathan Edward Ondrashek’s first collection of horror shorts, drabbles, and dark poetry for FREE on Kindle! Ranging from extreme horror to psychological to dark comedy, and tackling subjects from depression to racism to climate change, Bits ‘n’ Pieces is sure to leave you with a few goosebumps, boners/moistness, chills, vomit-inducing facial expressions, and things to think on. Grab it now by clicking the pic below.

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In addition, all 3 of the Human-Undead War titles are just 99 cents each on Kindle for the same duration . Click the pics below and join the war, before it’s too late.

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Celebrate Halloween 2020 the right way by distancing with some well-written horror and dark fantasy, ya sickos!

Human-Undead War Trilogy FREE for a limited time!

Posted on by jondrashek in coronapocalypse, dark fantasy, ebooks, free, free ebooks, horror, Human-Undead War, isolation, Plumfukt, trilogy, vampires, war

Is your city locked down? Are you on paid leave from the job? Self-quarantined?

Starting to feel like we’re all plumb fucked?

Then you’ve come to the right place.

To combat cabin fever and isolation, The Human-Undead War Trilogy is FREE on Kindle Thursday 03/19 through Monday 03/23!

After wiping your ass with that stockpile of toilet paper (ya fuckin’ hoarder), sink your fangs into this epic dark fantasy/horror vampire trilogy. These vamps don’t sparkle, and COVID-19 won’t stop them from ripping your guts out.

Click the cover images to get your FREE copies now.

Enjoy, and please consider leaving reviews!